Women's Bible Study

Whenever I use to see those words I would RUN!  After a few years I saw those words and was like "yeah I totally need to do that" but I never did, then I saw the words and was going to do it but came up with reasons why it would never work out.  Well this summer I saw the words embraced my fear and totally jumped in head first.  I have no idea why women's bible studies always freak me out, it's not like women are crazy (no crazier then men) and it's not like I've had horrible experiences with women, I have had many great women friends.  So today I went and I'll tell you what, I had an awesome time!  I met some great new ladies and got to dig into the word with them and hear what they had to say about what God is doing in their lives. 

Next week we're studying Psalm 13 so I sat down to read it today.  It spoke volumes to my heart and I hope that you'll take some time to study it yourself.  In this Psalm David (the author) was pleading to God in a time of struggles.  He was asking God how long will I endure this?!  The chapter is only 6 versus long so it went for woeful to praising God in a very short span.  In the next couple versus he goes on to pray that the Lord would deliver him.  In the last couple versus he's praising God for his blessings and for taking care of him!  It reminded me that yes I go through hard times, but that I should always praise God for being good to me!  Short post tonight, I'm tired and it's only 7pm but I think I shall retire early.

Blessings today and always,

Though None Go With Me...

Still I will follow, no turning back, no turning back.  Those are the famous words of a very old hymn however they still ring so very true in my heart.  Several years ago Jerry Jenkins wrote a book titled Though None Go With Me and that story has stuck with me and popped up in my memory at the best times.  Well they made a movie based off of the book (when it comes to it I would prefer you read the book there is so much more depth to it that way) but the movie catches the gist of it. 

Most of you probably don't know how I've struggled over the past several months (and even more so these past few weeks) with my life situation.  Adam seems to be working harder then ever, most days he's gone 15 hours a day and more times then not he misses seeing Abbie that day all together.  He works so hard so that I can stay home with our munchkin and I love him for that.  However I can't help but be human and I want it all my way.  I want him to be able to support our family but still be able to spend a chunk of time with us and right now that chunk of time is being robbed from us.  How does that tie in to this great book and movie?  Well I'll tell you.

In the movie the main character, Elizabeth, goes through her fair share of troubles!  Her mother dies when she is a very young girl, she grows up falls in love with a very Godly man, a pastor, who goes to war.  While he's at war her father passes away in his sleep then she gets word that Ben (the man she loves) has been killed in an attack.  She then, after a year and a half marries a man who has always loved her and so she in her grief turns to him falls in love and marries him.  All well in good till she finds out that Ben (the love of her life) didn't really die he had become a POW and had just been released!  She stays married to Will because she honestly loved him.  Years later her only son is killed along with his wife in a car accident and they become the guardians of their only daughter.  A few years later her husband is diagnosed with Alzheimer and it just goes downhill from there and he passes away 8 years later.  I'm telling you what after all that I don't know that I would be very happy with God!  But still she remains faithful, through all the hard times she uses them to minister to others!  Though none went with her and though it was painful (very painful) at times she embraced the will of God.  She lived it out knowing that her heartache would somehow help others. 

I tell you all this because I was so blessed by this message!  I could bore you to TEARS claiming all the hardships of my life starting in 4th grade (I know I was what 8?!) anyways but I won't.  It's a blessing because I know that someday (maybe soon) maybe it's already happened, I will be able to bless someone with my hardships.  Because of my faith and willingness to live God's will no matter what it holds I may be able to bless someones life so that they may do the same.  I pray that this may happen and that someday, when I'm 70 or 80 years old I can look back on my life, sit down with my grandchildren and tell them what a blessing my life has been all because I lived in God's will.  God doesn't promise that His will is easiest but He does promise that it's right.  As long as I remember that nothing will ever hold me down.  Though none go with me, still I will follow...

Blessings today and always,

Welcome to my journey

I finally did it, I opened the book and did the first devotion for the day in the book I bought well over a month ago.  Made to Crave Devotional by Lysa TerKeurst jumped out from the shelf like a hand trying to grab at me, I read the back although I had already heard of the book and made the choice to buy it and make my way through it knowing that what she has to say is probably going to rock my world and Lord willing change my life forever.  Lysa talks about and is very honest about her struggle with weight over the years of her life and wrote a book about the path she walked (I haven't read the book I had to make a choice between it and the devotional so I chose the later).  I've always known there was a deeper issue to the fact that I continue to eat and crave nasty foods (I mean good but NASTY foods) and a reason I continue to eat and eat and eat trying to fill some sort of hole that you can't ever see or fill.  I've known there was a deeper issue but wanted to ignore it thinking that one day I might be able to conquer this issue either on my own or with the help of God.  I tried over and over and when I failed I just figured I could always try again the next day (or next year ya know whatever works). 

Day One in this devotional, asking the Lord to unsettle me.  You know my brother Stephen has talked to me about this before, not in the same words but still.  I can see that this message has been taught to me over and over yet I seem to be ignoring it.  Unsettle me, I look at it kind of like turning the soil for a new garden.  God is the gardener and I am the soil, and if I want the "fruits" to grow from my soil them I'm going to have to allow God to turn the soil, to unsettle me and dig deep inside to find the faith and commitment to make my life fruitful.  Did that make sense to anyone else? 

Well this is my prayer today and will continue to be my prayer, because the Lord is never done working in our lives.  I pray that the Lord will unsettle me, never let me be complacent in my walk with my Lord Jesus.  Let me allow Him to do a great work in my life and in my family's life.  I pray that this is the start of an amazing journey.

Blessings today and always

Saten is attacking!

Today was another attempt at the stay at home mom bit...it didn't go all wrong but it was very VERY long.  Miss Abbie has a cold and in return its hurting her ears and that my friends makes for a super cranky child.  It would have been okay if she wanted to sit and snuggle with me but I would pick her up and sit her with me and she was so fidgety!  She just wouldn't sit still so I put her on the floor and she would cry and cry and cry and I would pick her up and she would cry and fidget...you can see the vicious cycle starting can't you.  Add to that trying to get chores done around the house and a dog that wanted to play and snuggle and you get a very long day.  I can't say that over the past few days it hasn't ocurred to me that I should have just stayed at work but I know this is God's calling for my life and saten can attack me all he wants but I'll just pray and pray and try harder.  Well friends I'm out for the night, I'm going to wait for my love to get home from work. 

Blessings today and always,

Day 2....Attempting a full day out

Well today is Saturday, once a month on a Saturday morning me and a few lady friends get together for what we call "Coffee Chronicles" it's basically just a time for us ladies to get together study scripture together, encourage one another and drink coffee and eat yummy breakfast food!!  Well today we didn't make it to the actual bible study but we had a wonderful time of encouraging each other in our marriages sharing struggles that we have with ourselves and praying for one another.  It amazes me that we always end up hanging out till the early afternoon!  So around one I headed over to Target (diaper run) and got me and Abbie some lunch!  Then we headed over to PetSmart to take a look because they are having a pet adoption there today and there were the CUTEST shepherd mixes there!  Now, Adam and I have been praying and talking about getting a puppy and I didn't get one today but we're going Monday on Adam's day off to look at them.  I'm praying they still have one left because they were SO sweet!  It's going on 5 o'clock and I'm about to start laundry...I will never understand my need to wait till the late afternoon to get started on laundry!  I need to work on that!  Anyhow, Abbie is waking up from her way to short a nap so I need to get her!  I'll leave you with a picture of this sweet dog! Tell me it's not the most adorable!

Blessings today and always,

Stay at home mom

Today started my first day as an official full time stay at home mom....I had visions of what it was going to be like.  I was going to be like Martha Stewart get my house SPARKLING clean and have my husband come home to a nice home cooked meal a full fridge from the visit to the store I did and a daughter in her high chair ready for dinner...ummm NOT.  That is not like ANYTHING that happened today!  My day started out with a cranky daughter waking up to early with dark circles under her eyes coughing at me because she caught my cold from last week.  I got her up got her changed gave her a cup of milk and we snuggled which was nice :)  I finished my grocery list printed that two recipes and my meal plan for the next two weeks out (sounds like its starting off ok doesn't it) well Abbie goes down for her nap and I relax for a little while.  I get ready to leave the house getting myself cleaned up, getting Abbie's bag together and just in time for her to wake up from her nap (perfect timing) I then left the house in plenty of time to get to my previous place of employment for the going away lunch they were throwing for me (which was nice) well on the way I stop to fill my car up (and here starts the down fall of my day) FIFTY SIX DOLLARS to fill up my car.  I remember the day when I said "I'm never getting a truck they cost fifty bucks to fill up (jokes on me right).  Well we get done with lunch and Abbie's doing alright mood wise so I decide to go to the store to get my groceries for the next couple weeks I get Abbie out of the car get in the store and.....my list is at home on my kitchen counter.  Way to go Amy!  So I load Abbie BACK in the car go home lay her down for her way to short afternoon nap and she wakes up in the WORST mood a mother can ask for, poor thing just doesn't feel good!  So we snuggled all evening because that husband that was suppose to come home still isn't home and it's 10:30.  So needless to say my first day as a stay at home mom wasn't perfect but I loved it still the same.  Instead of someone else holding my child because she doesn't feel good it was me.  I love my life and I love that my husband works so hard so that I can wipe these runny noses all the time!  Tomorrow is another day...maybe I'll get my house spotless tomorrow...maybe :-/

Blessings today and always,

End of February already!?

Bear with me folks!  It's almost the end of the week and in just 3 days I'll be an official full time stay at home mom!!  I'm so excited and blessed to be able to stay home with my child (and future children).  I'll return to blogging soon enough and will share all that's been going on in my life and family!  In the mean time if you need a great blog to read please head over to www.tolovehonorandvacuum.com and read her blog!  She's doing a 29 Days to Great Sex challenge and it is AMAZING!  Honor God in all areas of your marriage, remember he cares about you and loves you and wants you to have a happy healthy marriage...and that means having GREAT SEX :)

Blessings now and always,

Tuesday already?

Ok, so I don't feel very productive today.  I cleaned the kitchen and took care of my child all day but that wasn't very hard.  I just have NO energy!  I looked to see what kind of deals are going on at publix next week and started mentally getting my list and coupons together and now Adam and I are relaxing watching Friends.  I'm thankful that Abbie goes to bed at 7 because it gives me a few hours at night to do stuff I was to lazy to do during the day!  My mind has been very blank the past few days.  Maybe something will inspire me tomorrow and I'll have something to blog about, I mean I am watching 3 year old twin boys tomorrow so I'll probably have something exciting to share :) Until then I'll leave you with a sweet picture of our little one.

Blessings today and always,

I fell off the wagon...

and RAN MYSELF OVER WITH IT!  I must admit for the past 2 days I've gone on a bit of an eating binge, I did pretty good during the day at not eating a lot (although I didn't eat healthy I didn't over eat) but the past couple nights I over ate, last night being a deliberate "I had a horrible day and I need FOOD" night.  So getting up this morning I didn't feel great about myself I had the "I over ate" hang over which never feels good.  However, I got up did my devotions and am determined that it's a new day.  I went to a ladies bible study I'm involved in and had a great time of encouragement and fellowship, I've begged God's forgiveness once again and am back on track.  I am so thankful for encouraging women in my life who understand that we all fail but that are willing to encourage me and pray for me.  This has gone beyond an eating problem, this is a big fat spiritual battle!  I am learning to lean on my Father for comfort in my times of depression and bad days.  Okay, well I was just taking a small break from cleaning!  I need to get every thing finished for when miss Abigail wakes up so I can go to the store!

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!  One more thing!!!!  Have you heard about the awesome book that Darlene Schacht wrote and giving away free e-copies?!  Follow this link and read her blog and find out the many ways to enter!!

Blessings today and always,

"The List"

Don't judge me, I watch Friends.  We own all 10 seasons on DVD and I've figured out that Adam and I watch the complete series probably about 4 times a year.  Now you have to realize we don't have cable so that doesn't make this such a "loser" time activity :) Well today is one of the days where (during nap time) I watch Friends and enjoy some me time.  Well I was watching the episode where Pheobe makes the statement "Out of all the men that Monica has been with, and that has been A LOT, I like Richard the best"  Now if you've seen the episode you know that this then leads to Monica and Richard (and in another room Rachel and Ross) having the talk about who they've been with, or "The List" and I would like to say PRAISE GOD I NEVER HAD TO HAVE THIS TALK! 

Now I've always been very honest about my history and to make a long story short Adam was not my first.  Praise God though that I married a man who when I had to have that talk with him he was forgiving.  Now that being said I'm glad we never had to have the talk about who we had done it with.  I can't imagine!  My prayer is that my daughter will experience the same.  I know that she will make her own choices but I pray that God will guard her and protect her from the world!  Some day, my daughter will grow up and (Lord willing) marry a great man, and I would like to know that she didn't have a list.  My prayer today is that whoever reads this blog young and old, will either look to the future and say to themselves "I don't want to have that list I'm going to save myself for my husband" or look back and say "I'm so glad I didn't have a list" or "I had the list but Praise God for forgiveness and I forgive myself!" Well Abbie is up from her nap and it's time to get back to chores.

Blessings today and always,

Taking a break

Although it doesn't show I've been trying to be productive today but am finding it hard to drag myself through the day.  I've done 2 workouts today, Pilates and Zumba!  I've also cleaned my kitchen gone to the store and taken care of a lil miss fussy britches :)  I just need to finish cleaning up my living room!  As I spend the weekends with my daughter I can't help but think about what will happen in just a few weeks.  I'm going to be a stay at home mom!!!  Ever since I can remember I wanted to be a wife and mother and that's it.  I'm pretty sure that's why I've never been able to decide on a major for college because this is the calling that God has placed in my heart.  I've always been a firm believer in the fact that if God places a desire in your heart He will provide it.  In college when all I wanted was to have someone to date and eventually call my husband and everyone told me to be patient and that maybe God wanted me to be single I knew it couldn't be true.  Why would God give me such a great desire only to ask me to stay single?  And having children, God has given me a great desire to have children and I'm sure when the time comes and I have no desire to have anymore children I'll take that as God telling me I'm done.  And last year when Abbie was born and I wanted so badly to stay home with her, Adam didn't have a job and everyone kept telling me you do what you have to for your family and yes that's true, but I also knew that God would provide a way for me to stay home with my babies.  He is all powerful and through prayer and following His will doors FLY open for you.  God has even managed to soften the heart of my husband who if you asked him three years ago if he ever saw me as a stay at home mother/wife he would have laughed in your face!  I was NOT a good housekeeper, cook, laundry queen or ANYTHING of that nature.  I could barely make spaghetti without a melt down on my part and a MESSY kitchen that never got completely cleaned up before bed.  Now ask him what he thinks of his wife and he would probably tell you he's so proud of the work that I do in our home.  Not without fault and times of ciaos but still he's proud none the less.  I have 4 weeks till I put in my official resignation and 6 weeks till my final days at Greenleaf.  I've appreciated the time I've had there and the friends that I've made but am SO ready to play the biggest role of my life and that is molding and shaping our little girl into the women that God wants her to be.  Well, my break is over now it's time to clean up the living room!

Blessings today and always,

Storage or trash holder?

It's been a few days since my last post and let me tell you a TON has happened.  Okay...not much at all has happened I lead a pretty awesome but simple life!  However today was a very productive day.  For those of you who read my blog but didn't know my husband is former military, not only former military but he was a supply sergeant, and in civilian terms that means he got to take care of a bunch of awesome guns and stuff but that also means he got issued a LOT of stuff.  Army issued first aid kits (they come with an IV kit, ya know just in case I ever have to stick an IV in myself here at the house), gun cleaning kits, backpacks, sleeping mats, sleeping bags, duffel bags you name it and it was probably in our storage closet.  When we started our project this morning we had about 10 or 12 totes of just "stuff" or what I thought was stuff but when we opened them up to go through them it was a lot of TRASH.  Probably about 80% of the stuff we went through, went in the trash!  I couldn't believe we had ever actually gone through those before and put them back in there!  And if I think back I'm probably pretty sure we didn't go through them we just put them in there!  So, after about 3 hours of going through and chunking stuff and putting stuff in a pile to give away we are down to 6 totes and we were able to put all my fall and Christmas decorations in there too!  So, although my living room is somewhat messy and my kitchen is only half way cleaned I still feel very productive today!  Now I just have to finish organizing the stuff we are keeping in the house and put it away, I need to find something to keep all of our user manuals for things we have (any ideas) and put all of the stuff I'm going to be scrap booking with soon up.  So I have big plans for the weekend!  I'll leave you with the best picture of my daughter doing her cheezy smile.  We had fun today :)

Blessings today and always,

Amy has been MIA

After posting every day for like a week you must have wondered where I went. Or maybe not however it's late and I'm tired and off to bed but I'll update y'all tomorrow. Blessings!!

Sunday..and day of rest play dates and laundry

I know Sunday is suppose to be spent spending time with your faith family, your family family and resting but since my husband works most Sundays and I do NOT like sitting doing nothing at this point in my life today I was very busy.  Went to church this morning at Crosspointe and heard an AWESOME message about being Blameless (if you would like to hear it you can visit Crosspointe's website here) then I came home and a friend joined me for lunch and Abbie got to play with her daughter Molly.  They had lots of fun and wore each other out!

After that I did laundry dishes cleaned up from the play date and watched a couple movies.  Adam got home and we were able to go to lifegroup together, something that hasn't happened in like 3 weeks due to travel and holidays.  It was nice seeing our friends and digging into the word together.  My weekend was short and busy but uneventful just the way I like it!  Now I'm off to put all the laundry away that I folded this afternoon and then some snuggles with my love. Praying everyone has a good week! I'll leave you with a sweet picture from my mommy daughter time with Abbie this afternoon.

Blessings today and always,

It's a new day

So I'm gonna go ahead and put this out there, I've started attending over eaters anonymous meetings.  I've been to two so far and I'm not sure how I feel about them.  I blogged last night about being in a grumpy mood and in that grumpy mood I may have or may not have had a large serving of chips and cheese dip last night.  So I logged on (oh yes these meetings are via chat rooms now which is really nice!) so I went online to the meeting shared what had happened and got scolded.  I was told "thank you for sharing but next time please don't mention foods by name as it might trigger someone to relapse" now...I work in a mental health office and I'm pretty sure, in fact I checked with a therapist there but group members are allowed to when sharing mention the name of a substance that they have problems with.  While I understand the reason, I didn't like being called out in front of the group, they should post some rules or something!  Well I made it through the night not very well rested and it's a new day.  I got up, cleaned up the house a little played with Abbie now she's down for a nap and I'm finishing up my devotions and blogging time.  Then we're going to go couponing!  I'm pushing through putting the slight stumble behind me and pressing forward.  In my devotions this morning it talked about how we always assume God is with us, and He is but sometimes we may leave the presence of God without really thinking about it.  Today my prayer is that I will constantly stay in His presence, letting Him love me and love others through me. 

Blessings today and always,

End of the week I'm tired crabby pants

That's what I had on tonight.  I'm not sure what happened between 5:30 when I got off work and 6 when I finally made it home but somewhere in there the devil got in me and started yappin about how bad my day was when in fact it wasn't bad at all.  It was productive and moved pretty fast and I had a great shopping trip to Wal-Mart.  So after a good couple hours of getting angrier and stalking around my house throwing dinner together in a not so loving manner eating said dinner gaining a headache in the process my husband headed back to Waffle House to count the drawer down because managers are responsible for shift change on the weekends.  So, not only did I manage to be in a greatly bad mood when I got home but I ruined the only two hours of the evening I had with my husband!!  So after he left I was moping and was going to leave the dinner dishes in the kitchen however I had a pep talk with myself.  I unloaded the dishwasher cleaned up the kitchen and living room and prayed the whole time.  So now I have a better heart and attitude and I also have a clean living room and kitchen.  So next time maybe some prayer on the way home would be a better plan.  Ok I'm off to work on coupons. 

Blessings today and always,

The Topic of my blog changed in an instant

This morning I got up at 6, day TWO on my adventure to making my life better and setting an example for my baby.  I got my shower got dressed as to be fully awake this time when I did my devotions.  I go out to get my computer am walking back to the bedroom and instantly stop in my tracks.  Sitting on the kitchen counter next to my diaper bag and lunch ready to go to work and daycare is the most beautiful set of roses and a card.  The card reads "If you knew how often I think of you, you would feel like I'm hugging you" can I just say that I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!

If that doesn't make a girls day start off right I don't know what will!!!  So just so the whole world knows I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!  Ok, need to go fix breakfast and get to work. 

Blessings to you now and always,

Play date with lil man Micah

It's early and I only have about 5 minutes before I have to start getting ready for work.  So I wanted to bolt this out real quick!  Read the encouraging word for this morning and it was about knowing that God is the hope for our future and He has great plans for us.  That's been a struggle for me this past year because of Adam's job situation and now as I prepare to stay at home with Abbie it's going to be tight but I know that God has great plans for our family!  You can read all about that here

 In other news...yesterday Abbie had her first play date, well at least the first one where both babies are active and they actually play with the toys on the floor and don't need their mommies to interact with them.  They were so cute playing with the toys and talking to each other.  We had to occasional "be gentle" "no Abbie don't pull at his hair" but all in all it went very well.  Before we know it they'll be up and running at the park playing tag together! 

They really are to cute!  Anyways I pray that you have an encouraging day and lean fully on our Lord remembering that He holds great plans for all His children.

Blessings today and always,

Driving straight past my head and deep into my soul

That's what happened this morning when I went to Proverbs 31 ministries website and read their encouraging word for the day, and you can find it here for your own reading I would GREATLY suggest reading it friends.  As Abbie played in the living room I decided to sit down at my kitchen table with my breakfast and read my morning devotions, with K-love playing in the background it seemed like the best time :)  I made it now further then the opening scripture before my brain started SCREAMING at me almost begging me to not move on with this devotion, screaming at me because it knew that what this woman had to say would change my heart and life forever, 2 minutes to read a devotion and I was leveled to a pile of sobs crying out to my God for forgiveness.  What was this scripture that so touched my heart? 

“Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.” Romans 14:20a (NIV)   

I was destroying the work of my God and for what?!  A burger, some chocolate, a bag of chips?! I have all but begged God at times in my life to save me from this addiction. *Disclaimer* This is in no way to make my mother sound like a horrible mother or to make her feel bad in reading this, she is a wonderful mother and I love her more than words can describe.  I remember being in high school when my mother suffered from her first open heart by-pass surgery and thinking I can't do this!  I can't grow up and put my children through this and I vowed to lose weight and never get diabetes.  Now please keep in mind at that age I was well stupid!  How could I ever think that just because I lost weight I wouldn't get diabetes and have health problems?!  I know that somewhere down the line in the years to come I will worry my children with my health problems no matter how much weight I lose.  This being said, I can't make any of these things my goal.  I can't make it my goal to want to play with my kids without killing myself, looking smoking hot for my husband, or wanting to fit into a size 14 any of my goals, at least not my main goal.  I should want to lose weight for the soul purpose of serving and please my God!  I should want to strive and work hard to not destroy the beautiful work that He put into me!  So this is my prayer today that I will continue to pray and work and pray and work and make my heavenly father look down and me and go now THAT'S the woman that I created! 

Many blessings today and always!

Staying Strong through LOTS of prayer!

Well 1 our of 2 goals for the day isn't bad.  I wanted to wake up at 6 and do my morning devotions and blog about it however I'm sure you can tell that didn't happen.  I woke up at 7 and got ready for work HOWEVER I did manage to fix my lunch and get myself some breakfast before I left the house.  Today is day 2 on my adventure to a healthier lifestyle.  You can visit my profile to see how my adventure is going here

In just a little while Adam and I get to work out to Just Dance on the Wii which is always fun :) Then I plan to relax for the evening have my quiet time and well I have a couple things to do :) I'm not much a blogger this evening, I don't have much to say because well nothing happened today!  But I managed to keep my goal and stay under my calorie count and now I'm going to work out because that's what I need!  I'll leave you with the sweetest picture of my baby girl enjoying her dinner tonight.  She's getting so big!

Let the adventure begin!

As I got up this morning I fed Abbie her bottle I lay there looking at her and wondered "how can I love someone so much!" yet still manage to feel so empty at times.  I got out of bed brought her out to play and went to turn on netflix when my phone went off with a twitter update.  It was my friend @apb4jc or as I call her April :) it was a simple bible verse but because of her faithfulness in spending time with God every morning it reminded me "oh yeah Amy you were gonna read your bible this morning.  I hate even admitting this but most days I climb into bed at night starting to fall asleep and end up remembering that I didn't read my bible and in my head I say "oops, but it's just today we'll catch you tomorrow God" you know if God were my husband and treated me like that I would FLIP OUT!  See quality time is one of my top love languages.  I crave that time with my husband and daughter and not just the lets have a seat and watch CSI time with my family.  So WHY then don't I give God the same?  At this point in my life I'm making it a task each day to read my bible and speak with my Lord but I know one  day (hopefully sooner then later) that I'll crave that time with my Lord, that I'll wake up each morning eager to start my day in His word. 

This morning in my devotions that I read it talked about peeking around the corner waiting for everything to fall into place so that you'll be happy.  It's funny cause the writer opened up with this -

Growing up I had a plan for how I could make my life good.
Get a good education. A good job. A good husband. A few good kids. A good house. A good flowerbed out front. And a good mini-van parked in the driveway.
Then life would be… good.

 THAT WAS ME!!!!!!!!!! That was TOTALLY me.  I couldn't believe what I was reading, is this lady in my head or what?!  So I decided to venture on down and read the rest, even though I knew it was probably going to make me groan and go what am I doing!  My prayer today is that I will seek Him out and find my happiness in Him.  Below is the verse used in the devotion today and also a link to said devo, I pray it speaks to you as it did me.

“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12 (NIV)

/http://devotions.proverbs31.org/

The heart of the matter...

It's the year 2012, and every year for the past 10 years at LEAST (I don't remember when people really start making resolutions) I have "resolved" to lose weight, instead I gain it.  I've watched many amazing woman lose anywhere from 40 to 100 pounds or more but still I am yet to be inspired.  I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2006 do I lose weight?  No I gain it and take medications to keep my blood sugars low.  I got married in 2008 to the most amazing man who tries to encourage me in all areas of our life but still I continue to gain weight.  I have the most beautiful daughter whom I love with all that's in me and who I want to be able to play with at the park and run around our yard, I want to take her to school and her be proud of her mother not ashamed that her mother can't do some of the things other moms do just because I can't find the motivation to lose weight!  So why why WHY do I continue to put food ahead of the things that I know I love more?!  Why can't I find the motivation, why does food hold such a power over me?  I pray and I pray for God to give me the strength to control my eating and to give me the energy to work out and yet I still avoid it all.  I claim to give my life to God living fully for Him and yet in this area of my life (more apparent to me than others) is the one place where I just don't feel the need to show it.  Is it because I don't really love myself?  Do I not view myself worthy of a healthy life?  I know God loves me and wants me to be healthy and to be able to enjoy time with my family not just sitting in front of the TV watching movies and calling it "family time"...ok so whats this all mean?  I'm not sure, and I'm still not sure where to find my motivation.  I'm beautiful so that's not the issue...I should be healthy and happy.  So people I'm going to ask a favor...pray for me whenever you think of me...pray that God will give me the motivation, that He will keep me strong in not eating more than I need and pray that I will find the energy to work out on a regular basis.  And if you see me at any point don't be afraid to ask me how I'm doing please because I know accountability is key.   I'm going to close with a picture of me.  Lets see how this changes in the coming months.