Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Driving straight past my head and deep into my soul

That's what happened this morning when I went to Proverbs 31 ministries website and read their encouraging word for the day, and you can find it here for your own reading I would GREATLY suggest reading it friends.  As Abbie played in the living room I decided to sit down at my kitchen table with my breakfast and read my morning devotions, with K-love playing in the background it seemed like the best time :)  I made it now further then the opening scripture before my brain started SCREAMING at me almost begging me to not move on with this devotion, screaming at me because it knew that what this woman had to say would change my heart and life forever, 2 minutes to read a devotion and I was leveled to a pile of sobs crying out to my God for forgiveness.  What was this scripture that so touched my heart? 

“Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.” Romans 14:20a (NIV)   

I was destroying the work of my God and for what?!  A burger, some chocolate, a bag of chips?! I have all but begged God at times in my life to save me from this addiction. *Disclaimer* This is in no way to make my mother sound like a horrible mother or to make her feel bad in reading this, she is a wonderful mother and I love her more than words can describe.  I remember being in high school when my mother suffered from her first open heart by-pass surgery and thinking I can't do this!  I can't grow up and put my children through this and I vowed to lose weight and never get diabetes.  Now please keep in mind at that age I was well stupid!  How could I ever think that just because I lost weight I wouldn't get diabetes and have health problems?!  I know that somewhere down the line in the years to come I will worry my children with my health problems no matter how much weight I lose.  This being said, I can't make any of these things my goal.  I can't make it my goal to want to play with my kids without killing myself, looking smoking hot for my husband, or wanting to fit into a size 14 any of my goals, at least not my main goal.  I should want to lose weight for the soul purpose of serving and please my God!  I should want to strive and work hard to not destroy the beautiful work that He put into me!  So this is my prayer today that I will continue to pray and work and pray and work and make my heavenly father look down and me and go now THAT'S the woman that I created! 

Many blessings today and always!

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